Apr 18, 2016

Being confident and enthusiastic is a key practice of the successful negotiator

Self-confidence is based on the knowledge that you will probably be successful at an activity because you have been successful at similar activities in the past. Can we project self-confidence even when we don’t feel self-confident? Yes, there are several things you can do.

Pretend you are confident

Imagine yourself to be a confident person. Get that image in your mind and act it out. Project confidence, stand up straight, dress better, and try to play the part.

Monitor your self-talk

Listen to what those little voices are saying inside your head. If they are eroding your confidence, stop those tapes and put in new, positive messages.

When you meet people, look them in the eye

Confident people do that. People who aren’t confident don’t.

Smile

This can be a subtle sign of confidence.

Listen

Confident people are generous enough with their time to listen to others.

Know your stuff

Your confidence can’t be all a front. While you are looking people directly in the eyes, standing straight, and otherwise acting as if the world were your oyster, you also have to know what you are doing. If you are prepared and sure of your facts, you’ve got a better chance of projecting confidence.

Rehearsal is the best confidence builder

Rehearsing can be as simple as writing out a speech or your intended conversation with someone, and practicing it in front of the mirror. Do a role-play with a trusted friend or colleague. To tackle your underlying fear of failure, include imagery with your rehearsal. Imagine yourself succeeding.

Start small

Begin practicing your negotiating skills in small scale situations where you are comfortable. For example, if you successfully negotiate a solution to an ongoing problem with your neighbor, or successfully negotiate a utility contract with your energy provider, you will likely feel more confident when it’s time to negotiate a pay raise with your manager.

In conclusion, along with being confident and enthusiastic here are three more ways to improve your negotiating skills:

• Find out what is working and do more of it
• Find out what isn’t working and stop doing it
• Try new things and see which ones work and which ones don’t