Mar 09, 2016

Just like our marsupial friends in rural Australia, we need to be able to “kanga” at work.  What do I mean? Well, having that ability to “bounce back” from stressful experiences. This ability to “kanga” or to give it its psychological term, resilience, is a key criterion of emotional intelligence. I genuinely believe that our resilience can be improved; for some it seems easier than it does others, but not to give up!

Here are some ideas for strengthening our resilience and making ourselves more emotionally robust:

1. Being Present and Focused

According to Dr. Susan Albers, a psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic, resilient people focus on “here and now” issues, rather than the “what if’s” in the future. So it’s about seeing a stressful experience or problem, that is current, and trying to resolve it, rather than feeling overwhelmed by future possible catastrophes. Interestingly, the body will react (as opposed to respond) when it senses a threat, with a “fight” or “flight” reaction.  Prefer to respond, and view the stressful situation as something that can be dealt with, however challenging, thereby changing your perspective, and allowing you to cope, rather than being at the mercy of runaway emotions and feelings of helplessness.

Some pointers for problem-solving include:

• Looking at your various options
• Possibly experimenting with different strategies
• Adopting a logical and systematic approach.

2. Nurture Yourself and Nurture your Networks

Often when we feel overwhelmed, we can neglect our health.  We all know what we’re like when we are short on sleep! Being resilient requires us to be able keep a perspective and this is helped with decent nutrition, exercise and getting enough sleep. When you're stressed, it can be all too easy to neglect your own needs.

• Make time for doing things that you enjoy and that relax you.

Just like kangaroos, who tend to travel in “mobs”, having a network of supportive people around you can act as a buffer, or as a protective factor during times of crisis. Often, you are not looking for the network to solve your problems, but as the old saying goes: “A problem shared is a problem halved”. When we talk things through with others, solutions, or “next steps” become more apparent, and the emotional support we feel is very affirming.

• Look after your social networks and notice who you can rely on when you really need it. The point of the network is reciprocal, so in this way, you each help to strengthen the resilience in each other. Avoid negative people like the plague!

3. Believe in yourself (Self-esteem) and your Abilities

Becoming more confident about your own ability to respond and deal with crisis is a great way to build resilience for the future. Having good self-esteem is seen by researchers as “being aware of own strengths and weaknesses and to accept oneself with what is more personal and valuable.” What is implied is that when we value our achievements and accomplishments, we cope better with stressful situations and can kanga better from difficult events. When we don’t have a healthy self-esteem, we often feel like failures, or hopeless, or unable to cope.

So how do we start to believe in ourselves?

• Internal Conversation

Every time you find yourself saying something negative, like “I’m no good at this and I always get it wrong” challenge this negative thinking.  It may be that you need it explained in a different way, or more practice, i.e. don’t just accept the negativity.

• Being a Perfectionist

The little imp on your shoulder needs a holiday!  Sometimes, we need to accept that good enough, is good enough.  Try your best, get through the crisis/issue, and move on. This includes cutting yourself a little slack if you make a mistake.  Again, learn from what’s happened and move on.

• Focus on the things you can change

It may become a self-fulfilling prophesy if we try to change things over which we have no control – of course we will feel powerless.  It’s more important to attempt things within our control and work onwards from there.

So do you kanga?

In summary, resilience is entirely within our own ability to influence, and is closely allied to our emotional intelligence. A strong self-belief, a healthy dose of pragmatism and a network of supportive colleagues, are just some of the ways we can grow our resilience.

Banafshe Hasanvand¹, Mohamad khaledian²International Journal of Psychology and Behavioral Sciences

p- ISSN: 2163-1948    e-ISSN: 2163-1956   2012; 2(6): 231-236