Feb 25, 2015

a.k.a - Self-respect, Self-approval and Self-motivation

I grew up in an era when respecting one’s elders, bosses, seniors, the elderly, and so on was the norm; and that’s as it should be although why set limits? I believe that we should interact respectfully with all our colleagues in the workplace. Respect encompasses good manners, listening skills, valuing others’ input and being collaborative. Somewhere in all of this though, I find that in the training room, I encounter students who seem to lack respect for themselves. They question their right to be heard, often citing that they don’t believe they have a contribution to make when there are so many more experienced people around them. What a shame that the place where they spend so much time, is reduced to an experience about keeping who they are silent, and valuing others more than themselves.

Self-respect is just one of three areas I want to cover, the others being self-approval and self-motivation.

Self-respect for me, means understanding that just as anyone else can be heard, can offer an opinion, or can make a decision, so too can I. When I talk of this self-respect in the training room and we do practical exercises, I usually ask my students whether they would be able to use these skills with confidence back in the workplace. Their responses lead me to believe that their self-respect is checked by a degree of intimidation, or caution, whether due to rank, power or connections and I believe that they fear negative consequences if they assert themselves. It seems really sad that when we face the complexity of problems the working environment throws up, we don’t enjoy the input of these “silent” resources, or “people” capital; they’ve learnt that they are not respected and that it’s safer to fly under the radar.

Self-approval, is about being able to recognise and evaluate one’s own strengths and weaknesses, independently of outside opinion. It also encompasses an ability to revise one’s own thinking, making a person capable of change and adaptability. When I’m training, and I ask students to evaluate their own efforts, they will often cite all the things that they did wrong. Now I know that this is in part because of the way we have been socialised, but I believe that having a healthy identity is about being able to acknowledge the good points too.  It’s about acknowledging and giving oneself credit for an improvement, or a hurdle that’s been overcome, or a job well done, irrespective of whether someone else acknowledges it or not.

This leads me to my third point, that of Self-motivation. Academic studies (Oyserman & Destin p.1011, 2010) suggest that this identity we have just spoken of, “matters because it provides a basis for meaning making and action”. I like to think of it this way: if I have no sense of self, no identity, no feeling of self-respect and no self-approval, I can’t imagine why I would ever feel intrinsically motivated to do my job. Of course people are motivated by the good old stick and carrot method, but what effort and micro-management is required to sustain it? Not to mention that often when the goal is attained under these circumstances, it’s a hollow victory.

It seems therefore, that if we want a self-motivated workforce, we need to encourage respectful interactions, which value diverse ideas and opinions. We need to know our employees as individuals and connect with them regularly on a one-to-one basis, to encourage a healthy identity, and finally, we need to ascertain their personal motivation in an environment of trust and collaboration, and acknowledge their contribution.